Cathedral.

Prejudices. We all have them. Whether they are sub-conscious or realized, we all have at least one. I will venture to say that being with or communicating to a person with a disability is a universal prejudice. We feel awkward. We don't know what to do. We treat them as if they are not real people.


In the story, Cathedral, written by Raymond Carver, a couple take a blind man into their home. The wife had been a friend of Robert's, the blind man, for years. She had worked at one point in time for him, and fast forwarding about 10 years, Robert comes to visit her and her husband after his wife Beulah died. The husband, who narrates the story, states from the start that he is bothered by having a blind man in his home. He states the obvious prejudices; blind people move slowly, they never laugh, and they need "seeing" dogs. From the moment Robert arrives in his home, the husband is distant. He allowed his preconceived notions to determine what this man would be like. Throughout the story there are various instances where he stays silent because he feels as if he has nothing in common with the blind man.

But there comes a point in this story where the man is forced to make conversation and a connection with the blind man. His wife had gone upstairs, and the two of them were left alone to overcome the unspoken barriers  of judgement. This invisible line of separation was broken when the blind man asked the narrator to describe a cathedral. Feeling as if he can't explain it, the husband starts to get frustrated. It was a moment of realization; how can you explain something to someone who has never seen? To someone who does not have a clue what you mean? Robert asked the husband to sketch a picture of the cathedral. He wanted to place his hand over his, to feel the movement to try and see in his mind what it looked like. It was the silver lining. The narrator was beginning to un-see. He closed his eyes as well in order to understand what its like to have to come up with an image of something you've never seen. It was the moment of relating.

As I was reading this story, I couldn't help but notice these things. I felt as if God was shining a spotlight on my weaknesses of treating people with disabilities as if they are not normal. And I know it is not just me. Come on, now. No one can read this and say they've never judged someone with a disability. But as I was reading this story, I realized just how brilliant these people actually are. I question, who was actually blind in this story? Was it the narrator who couldn't see life as it actually was, or the man who had a physical blindness? It made me realize that our society is disabled. We are disabled in the way that we can't relate, and we don't try to relate to people who are different than us. We allow preconceived opinions of people to stop us from building relationships with others. Its not what makes us different, but rather, what makes us the same.

I'm leaving this story feeling challenged to recognize my own disabilities, and hoping I have the strength to be love to others despite them. Our blind society need to learn to un-see as well, so we might see things as they actually are.

Hills like White Elephants.

Dear Conflicted Girl,

He may not see it, but I do. He may not care, but I know you do. He may not be torn in his conscience, but I can hear it in your voice, you're torn. Torn between the love of your life, and torn between what that love created. You sit there trying to drink away the feeling; attempting to down your doubt like downing a glass of beer. Your boyfriend tries to persuade you. Persuade you in every way.  To try this new drink, to go to this place, to abort that baby inside of you. You want to make him happy. But will you be happy? To lose something that you've made a part of your life, or to lose something that is actually one with you.

Someone close to me was in the same situation once. The roles were a little reversed, per say. But in the end, the situation is still the same. I've seen how abortion changes lives. Killing "a hill of white elephants", something pure and innocent, leaves a permanent scar. At the time they thought they were doing the right thing to save their relationship, but in the end, it only wound up tearing them apart and losing their child. To this day it is a decision both of them regret deeply, and everyday it is a struggle for this man to forgive this girl. And everyday this girl struggles to forgive herself.

I'm not telling you what to do. But I am asking you to consider your life, your baby's life. You're afraid to lose a man who makes your decisions for you. This is your choice. Scars of people coming in and out of your life heal; scars of losing someone you love are always there, they just get buried with time. Keep believing in white elephants. Keep seeing things in your own way. Don't let someone taint what you see and what you want.

You're sitting beside two rail lines. Each going a different direction. You are there with the intent of going one way, but don't be afraid to consider the other. Make your life your own. Follow what you feel inside.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Friend

Great.

After reading the devotion, "None so Obscure", I felt left to ask myself a question: what legacy will my life be leaving? But the more I pondered this question, the more it brought other questions to mind, such as: what does it actually mean to be great? who am I living to impress? am I living my life for something of worth?

Several years ago at a Christian youth retreat, our speaker said something that has stuck with me. To be great is to be less. At the time, I never fully understood what that meant, but the older I get, the more I realize the truth in that statement. When you step back and think about it, the people we recognize as "great" are the people who served. People who thought of others as greater than themselves, people who give their lives to the service of helping others. They think of themselves less, and somehow, we view that as greatness. I believe we view it as such because of our model; Jesus Christ. Jesus was greatness is the flesh. But he was also the greatest servant we have ever seen. Our lives are beckoned to be modeled after His, and if that is true, should our lives not be less?

My desire is to be known as a woman of love, compassion, encouragement, laughter, faith, mercy, kindness, and joy. I'm a social work major for the sole reason of I love people. And I want to impact someone's life. To change it for the better. Not because I'm "great", but because of the One who is great inside of my heart. That is what gives life meaning. That is what leaves a mark on this world. People have been talking about Jesus for over 2,000 years...I think that is the coolest thing.