Dear Conflicted Girl,
He may not see it, but I do. He may not care, but I know you do. He may not be torn in his conscience, but I can hear it in your voice, you're torn. Torn between the love of your life, and torn between what that love created. You sit there trying to drink away the feeling; attempting to down your doubt like downing a glass of beer. Your boyfriend tries to persuade you. Persuade you in every way. To try this new drink, to go to this place, to abort that baby inside of you. You want to make him happy. But will you be happy? To lose something that you've made a part of your life, or to lose something that is actually one with you.
Someone close to me was in the same situation once. The roles were a little reversed, per say. But in the end, the situation is still the same. I've seen how abortion changes lives. Killing "a hill of white elephants", something pure and innocent, leaves a permanent scar. At the time they thought they were doing the right thing to save their relationship, but in the end, it only wound up tearing them apart and losing their child. To this day it is a decision both of them regret deeply, and everyday it is a struggle for this man to forgive this girl. And everyday this girl struggles to forgive herself.
I'm not telling you what to do. But I am asking you to consider your life, your baby's life. You're afraid to lose a man who makes your decisions for you. This is your choice. Scars of people coming in and out of your life heal; scars of losing someone you love are always there, they just get buried with time. Keep believing in white elephants. Keep seeing things in your own way. Don't let someone taint what you see and what you want.
You're sitting beside two rail lines. Each going a different direction. You are there with the intent of going one way, but don't be afraid to consider the other. Make your life your own. Follow what you feel inside.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Friend
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