Peace like a River- Annotation

Shocking. The ending to Peace like a River was completely shocking. It was nothing like what I had expected. When I closed the back cover, I sat in silence still trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. And only one thought kept running through my mind: Jeremiah Land is a representation of Jesus. Fully and completely. From the beginning of the book to the very last sentence. I sat trying to come up with a nice academic word to accurately describe what he did, but the only word that truly sums up Jeremiah Land's actions is one I feel is overused but necessary- sacrifice.

The definition of sacrifice is "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim" (dictionary.com). Life is something we hold a lot of value in. Mr. Land viewed his life as nothing, or of little importance compared to the life of his son, Reuben. The Bible says in John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." Is that not what Jesus did for us?

We as humans have a hard time grasping the concept of that kind of love. A love that values and sacrifices ones own comforts, needs, or even in these examples, ones life. Jesus was obviously the ultimate example of sacrifice, dying so that we might have spiritual breath, so in turn we might have spiritual life. But what Jeremiah Land did for his son was almost as important. He gave away part of himself so that he may save his sons life by giving him new lungs and a chance at a new life free from the limitations his asthma brought upon him. In the death of his father, Reuben received healing. In the death of Jesus, we also have received healing.

The similarities of these two men are amazing. It made the life of Jesus so real and tangible. That what he did was not so far out after all; that love like that really can exist. It should change us. I imagine that Reuben was changed and lived his life differently knowing that his father sacrificed so much for him. I want to live my life differently for my father, knowing that he gave the ultimate sacrifice for my life as well.

Citations

"Sacrifice" Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 25 April, 2011. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sacrifice

The New International Bible. Ed. Print.

The Road- Reflection.

"I wasn't going to kill him" he said..."But we did kill him."

Those lines sent shivers up my spine. I sat in my bed reading and thought to myself, what does it honestly mean to kill someone? Are there different types of murder? Could this not just be a physical killing, but an emotional or mental one as well?

When the father and son found their thief, the father immediately threatened to kill this man. Not only did he threaten to blow his brains out, he forced him to take off his clothing and give it to them. These actions made the son very upset and angry. He wouldn't talk to his dad for a while. In the fathers mind he hadn't done anything wrong; he didn't actually kill the man. But the son viewed it differently. Was leaving the man naked, cold, and hungry any better than shooting him? No. In the sons mind they already killed him by refusing to help.

I sat there thinking of this situation. My thoughts began thinking of how far does wanting to survive go. Then they transitioned to the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And then that transformed into me contemplating my own murder. No, I haven't actually killed a man. But have I?

Does being uncompassionate to those around me make me on this same level? If I drive by a homeless man while eating McDonald's, am I any better than the father who threatened death? I don't believe its so much the action as it is the thought behind those actions. To not help someone is a choice. We make that choice by putting ourselves first and not being compassionate like we are called to be.

I don't want to be that persons who threatens death upon somebody else for my own comforts. I want to be like the son, weeping and angered when others aren't being helped. The golden rule really says it all. We as Christians, even as students, need to adopt the mindset of compassion and doing to others what we would want done to us. Compassion is contagious. I think maybe if we all took on the challenge, we just might start a revolution.

The Road- Reflective

Father.

Instantly upon seeing that word, several images and other words came to your mind. You picture your own father, or someone who is like a father to you. Fathers have certain character traits: strong, leading, reassuring, safe, protective, comforting, loving, able. I envision my own dad. When something goes wrong he's the first person I want. His strong arms make me feel safe. Knowing he's there I feel protected. One word from him and I feel loved. When I can't do something, I know that my dad can.

In our story The Road, we have a story of a father and son on this journey to the south. They are trudging through snow and woods, dragging along what little belongings they can hold onto. So far through the story, the son looks to his father for reassurance all the time. He's always asking him questions just to make sure of what is going on, and if something happened his dad will tell him and be there. The son never wants to be separated from his safety; his father. The journey they're taking is already one that makes you feel unsafe and insecure. Literally fighting to stay alive and all you have is each other. The two of them are up against so many dangers. They come across situations and have to make decisions that if it wasn't the end of the world, it would be morally incorrect. His son recognizes what is right and what is wrong, and he needs the reassurance from his father that they are still good people and they are just staying alive.

The traits that fathers have are naturally survival instincts. In this story, there is an incredible demonstration of a selfless father/son relationship. Giving up your own comforts for the sake of another, carrying your child when they can't continue, holding them when they're afraid, and pushing them beyond their limits. Even though this story is dark and gruesome at times, it still paints a beautiful picture of what a loving family relationship should be. It makes me appreciate my own father and how willing he is to go for the sake of my needs.

Peace like a River- Annotation

Author Leif Enger, of Peace like a River, uses strong motifs throughout his book. Each motif is almost like a symbol and a foreshadowing of an event to come. From the start of the book we see miracles and biblical analogies, such as the spiritual relationship Jeremiah Land has with God and the ability for miracles to flow through his life. We also can see a water motif, taking form in snow or fog. Even the recurrence of dreams is symbolic. But what I would like to focus on is the symbolism behind Enger's crow motif. There are a lot of birds mentioned in this book, but more specifically I wanted to narrow in on the significance of the crow.

According to Vanya, an online author, the crow "teaches us how to learn from situations and to feel 'guilt free' when we are assertive. Crow is the bringer of harmony" (Vanya, Web). Another online source refers to crows as showing "integrity and doing unto others as we would have them do to us" (theearthangelconnection.com). And as another informational source, in class throughout this semester we have had to read poems that also use birds as a motif, and through class lectures and discussions we talked about birds being this symbol of freedom and release.

Along the journey to find Davy, Jeremiah and his children- Reuben and Swede- are driving through North Dakota and along the road they see something that appears to be a piece of trash. Upon getting closer, they realize it is a dead crow. Jeremiah makes a statement that it was the first crow he "ever saw hit on the road" (Enger 133). Later on when Reuben actually finds Davy and is keeping it a secret from the rest of their family, the two have a conversation and while talking, crows gathered above them tutting and cawing. These are just two of many examples, but I found these two to have the most depth with the situations surrounding them.

Now knowing the real meaning behind the crows, I can look at these passages and think “how did I not see the ending?” When the Land family sees the dead crow in the road, it is as if they are looking at Davy and his life. Davy has committed a crime that has no excuse; he’s gone and killed two boys. Not only that, he has run away and escaped from jail. So now Davy is wanted for more than one crime. As the crow is a symbol of being guilt-free and doing to others what you wish they do to you, this is no longer just seeing a crow that got run over by a vehicle. It is this moment where the thought of Davy being guilt-free is put to death. We could even venture to say it symbolizes his freedom being taken away.

Tutting, which means “contempt, disdain, or impatience” (dictionary.com) also adds another level to the next scene. While Davy and Reuben are talking, this symbol of freedom and integrity is flying and soaring above them with contempt and disdain. Is this possibly a view of how we should be looking at Davy? It may be. It certainly gives the story an attitude. This bird that is supposed to be guilt-free and bring harmony is now cawing out cries of contempt above him.

Davy never gets caught. But his brother Reuben had the pivotal moment in realizing that his brother is not as innocent as he thought he was. It may have been a slight letdown, you always want to believe the best of someone you love. But in the end, they manage to restore a relationship that lasts throughout the rest of their years.

Citations

“Bird Symbolism. Working with Bird Energies” Sacredearth-Sacredart.com. Vanya. Web. 2007.

Theearthangelconnection.com

"Tutting" Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 6 April, 2011. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tutting

Peace like a River- Reflective

The story Peace like a River has so many themes and topics I could write about. The underlying theme is clearly faith. But within that one theme alone is a thousand subjects. For this blog I want to zone in on fog- walking by faith.

                I love the story of August and Reuben horseback riding early in the morning while it was foggy. Fog creates and alludes to things unseen, mystery, and even apprehension. But the fog dissipates the more the light comes and the stronger the day gets. When the light rises, it puts to rest the apprehension, mystery, and the unseen. Things become clearer and you can be more confident of where you are going.

                This is a perfect analogy for faith. We go through different seasons and trials in our lives, and things become a little foggy. Sometimes the road God calls us to walk on is filled with things that are mysterious. It’s like walking blind. Walking without seeing where you are going can cause some apprehension; I know it’s not just me. You’re afraid you’re going to run into something, stub some toes, fall down, or get lost. But you keep going, because you know you have a destination. And you realize the more you walk into the fog, the closer you are to the light; Jesus. The closer you are to Jesus, the more the fog lifts, and your road starts to come to focus.

                I think this is a subtle moment of foreshadowing for the rest of the book. The Land family is on a journey through the fog. Not just in the moment when Reuben was riding with August through literal fog, but they are embarking on a spiritually foggy journey. They have no clue what is one step ahead of them. But they are willing to run into things, stub some toes, fall down, and get lost. Because the goal of finding the lost one is more important to them than what happens along the way.

                Well that’s challenging. I had to sit and reflect that if the way I am living is with the ultimate goal and destination in mind or if I am more concerned with the falls and bumps along the way that will hurt. I want to find the joy of the destination before I even reach it. That’s some real faith. 

Peace like a River- Problematize

"People fear miracles because they fear being changed- though ignoring them will change you also."

The reoccurring theme of miracles in the book "Peace like a River" is obviously noticeable, but I feel as if it is that topic we hear about but don't listen to. Miracles are talked about like they can happen; not that they still are happening. We use the label of miracle for material things. Example, Miracle Grow. What's so miraculous about dirt enhanced with chemicals? Or, Miracle Whip. What's so miraculous about fluffy mayonnaise?

Miracles are more than plant food and sandwich spreads. Miracles are pieces of God's power being shown to His creation. They are taking an impossible situation and turning it around and doing what man cannot do in his own strength. I believe that we tone down the word miracle so it's on a level we can handle and are comfortable with. Because Swede is right, we fear by allowing God's power to openly flow, we might actually be changed and taken out of our comfort zone. But isn't that the point? We ask God for miracles to take us out of the zone we're in. We're sending God mixed signals...

I am a miracle. When I was born, I almost died. The doctors found a fluid in my lungs and they were sure I was not going to make it. But through prayer and petitioning God for the impossible, I am healed and whole. I've seen so many miracles throughout my life; blind eyes opened, deaf ears opened, lame people walking, sick people healed, people released from demonic possession. And it has changed me. But I strongly believe had I never experienced that, I would not truly believe that with God all things are possible.

Heaven is jam-packed into our souls. It's part of our spiritual DNA. Which means that as Christians, miracles are also apart of our DNA. Jesus has given us the authority and power to tap into that at any moment. Not to be reckless, but to show God's goodness. The realization of just how much God wants to do in and through us should be releasing, changing. We should fear the Lord more than we fear losing our comfort. That in and of itself would be a real miracle.

The Silence of a Woman- Annotation

Over the course of Spring break, I had the chance to sit down and look at the poems my group was doing for our project. As I was looking at the poem "The Silence of a Woman" by Liz Rosenberg, I read the word Sybil and I had absolutely no idea what that word even meant. Since I was at my home, I asked my brother, who is a literal genius, what the word meant, and the meaning of it and the related meanings shed a whole new light on this poem.

"Oh lifetime of silence!
 Words scattered like a Sybil's leaves."

Sybil, in classic mythology is a Prophetess, witch, or fortune-teller. I was so excited over this newfound definition I couldn't contain myself. It is ironic how the sentence starts out saying a lifetime of silence, and then proceeds to compare it to the scattered words of a Prophetess like leaves. According to an online source, House of Names, leaves have a symbolism for happiness (internet). And for those who don't know, a Prophetess is someone who speaks, and upon speaking, they know their words will either fall on deaf ears or attentive ones. And the words that they speak are the life of the Prophetess; her happiness. In essence, Rosenberg uses this drastic simile to say that living in silence is just as bad as having the words of a Prophetess scattered about, almost as if they are falling on deaf ears and not being heard.

Upon knowing this information, I feel as if the text has a new layer of drama. It's so easy to read over that sentence and not give it a second thought, but the depth and seriousness of what Rosenberg is trying to convey in the poem I believes lies in these two lines. Every woman has a voice. Every woman deserves to be heard before she's lived so long her voice becomes just a soulful wind that hopes it can keep up. Every woman has something worth being heard. I hope the world starts listening.

                                                          

                                                                 Works Cited
                      Houseofnames.com. Swyrich Corporation, 2010-2011. 15 March 2011.

Lanyard- Creative

Passionate- From themed birthday parties every year since I was born, to mailing me care packages in college, everything you put your hands to, you are passionate about. Your passion for God, ministries, and striving to be your best has been instilled into my life from a young age. Because of your example, I am not only passionate about everything I do, but I've allowed my passions to become compassion. I've never said thank you for that.


Adoring- From things like putting me in dresses and bows, to thinking I am number one even when I fail, you have always adored me. In your eyes, I can succeed at anything. You have always modeled an adoration that will do anything to help us, such a selfless love. I've never said thank you for that.


Responsible- From making sure we made it to every appointment, to making sure we had every school supply, you have shown me what responsibility is. Those times you made us chore charts and we did not get allowances, that surely taught me responsibility. You taught me how to manage my life. From school, to money, to time, to people, to my spiritual life. You've shown me how to be responsible. I've never said thank you for that.


Empathetic- From kissing all my skinned hands and knees, to holding me while my heart was breaking, you've shown me what a life of empathy is. You may not have always understood, but you were there to try and feel what I was feeling. Because of you, empathy is one of my top five strengths. I've never said thank you for that.


Near- From having your room right across the hallway, to running out to the driveway when I fell and needed you to catch me, you have always been near. Since going away to college, I've learned that being near to someone is not always in a physical sense, but close in heart. I know you are only a phone call away. I've never said thank you for that.


Teaching- From homeschooling me, to showing me how to fold towels correctly, you've always been teaching me. You've taught me book knowledge, life knowledge, and spiritual knowledge. The moment you brought me into this world, you committed to teach me how to live life. Because of you, I am now a capable adult. I've never said thank you for that.


Strong- You both have always been a rock in my life. Your entire marriage exemplifies the word strong. You have weathered every storm, held on when you weren't sure if you could, and had the strength to let go even when it was painful. The obstacles you have overcome have silently taught me what it is like to be strong. Because of your actions and not your words, you've taught me how to be strong. To hold on when I thought I couldn't, to let go when it broke my heart, and to stand when everything around me was falling apart. I've never said thank you for that.

I'm not sure if even this will ever do you justice, but this is my lanyard. A simple token that I hope will somehow make the playing field even. You have given me so much, and the smallest gift I can return to you is my thanks.

Pillow- An Annotation

“The night begins

With the first beheading

Of the jasmine, its captive fragrance

Rid at last of burial clothes”

Author Li-Young Lee in his poem “Pillow” ends with that stanza. Throughout the poem you can understand his symbolism, but what I wanted to know more about was his choice to use the jasmine flower. I did know that the jasmine is a popular flower for women in Asian countries, as they like to wear them in their hair, but I wondered what that had to do with this particular poem. According to Kathleen Karlsen, an internet author, the meaning of a jasmine flower is “attachment, sensuality, modesty, grace and elegance” (Karlsen, web).  Knowing the meaning behind the jasmine, I found the poem making more sense. The entire poem Lee is talking about his life, how he was constantly moving and being whisked away in the night. His family never settled in one place for long. Due to this fact, he was not able to have real freedom. Even his ability to speak was hindered; he did not speak a full sentence until he was three years old. Throughout the poem you have this sense of restriction and a life almost on the run. There was nothing stable in his life. Knowing this and the background of his life, the symbolism of the jasmine is so deep and alludes to his detachment from things. In essence, Lee is saying his nights or moves always start with the cutting off of attachment. These nights were anything but graceful and elegant. Not only does the jasmine have significant meaning behind it, it was also relevant and symbolic to his culture. Jasmines were used as a decoration of beauty, reflecting gentleness and modesty, but he uses it in this story to illustrate the exact opposite of that. Beheading is to cut off from the source of life. Being attached to a place or a person is the source of our emotional life. I believe this could even be taken as far as to say he felt cut off from his culture upon his move to America. Nothing in his life was easy, and for me personally knowing his history and knowing the meaning behind one of his most famous poems, I have a new appreciation for his writings and how they are influential in our society. We may not all have lived a life that we had to be whisked away in the night, but we can all relate to the point that at one time in our lives, we felt detached from our culture, our family, our friends, and even our own selves.

                                                

                                                                  Works Cited

Karlsen, Kathleen. Livingartsoriginals.com. Living Arts Enterprises, LLC 2007-2010. Web. 24 February 2011. 

(I have NO idea if this is cited correctly. I was not sure exactly how to do it, if it is wrong, please tell me so I can fix it and not get fined.) 

A Work of Artifice

Does a bonsai tree know when it's "growing in an attractive pot" instead of "on the side of a mountain"? Something that appears to be so beautiful and luring, as the gardener sweetly tells the tree it's better off restricted. And that is how it starts. Slowly, in disguise. The gardener makes this life look so promising, using manipulation to gain your emotions under his control. Everyday he whittles back your freedoms. Little by little, taking away your right to have an opinion, to think for yourself, and using twisted lines, like "If you loved me, you'd do it". 

This weeks reading hit a soft spot in my heart. Our discussion in class on how the bonsai tree represents a woman and the oppression that she is going through was very revealing. Each line has a specific purpose and it builds up to this message, almost in code, of what is actually happening. And how true that can be. Women who are in abusive relationships use a code to say something without saying it. 

People in our society who live in oblivion to abusive relationships are just that: oblivious. They "don't understand how the girl didn't see it coming" or if "that was me, I would have gotten out sooner". Do they ever stop to think that maybe that girl or that woman did not choose to be in an attractive pot and cut down to nine inches tall, when she could be her full height on the side of a mountain with room to grow? 

What people don't know is- I was that girl. I was that bonsai tree being sweetly crooned too, slowly, and assuredly having my freedom taken away. You don't ever plan to be in that situation. But all the while, these gardeners see what their doing. They want to make you small and weak, masking the abuse in what they call love. 

Throughout the entire poem and through our discussion in class I found myself relating. I wonder how many people in our class actually know what it feels like. I wonder if they all walked away the same. Or maybe, just maybe, they walked away wondering how to improve their own relationships, maybe even thankful for the ones they have. Its stories and poems like this that should help us evaluate the good we have in our lives. For me, it made me realize just how far I've come. I've been uprooted from my pot and I'm on my way to my side of the mountain. 

Cathedral.

Prejudices. We all have them. Whether they are sub-conscious or realized, we all have at least one. I will venture to say that being with or communicating to a person with a disability is a universal prejudice. We feel awkward. We don't know what to do. We treat them as if they are not real people.


In the story, Cathedral, written by Raymond Carver, a couple take a blind man into their home. The wife had been a friend of Robert's, the blind man, for years. She had worked at one point in time for him, and fast forwarding about 10 years, Robert comes to visit her and her husband after his wife Beulah died. The husband, who narrates the story, states from the start that he is bothered by having a blind man in his home. He states the obvious prejudices; blind people move slowly, they never laugh, and they need "seeing" dogs. From the moment Robert arrives in his home, the husband is distant. He allowed his preconceived notions to determine what this man would be like. Throughout the story there are various instances where he stays silent because he feels as if he has nothing in common with the blind man.

But there comes a point in this story where the man is forced to make conversation and a connection with the blind man. His wife had gone upstairs, and the two of them were left alone to overcome the unspoken barriers  of judgement. This invisible line of separation was broken when the blind man asked the narrator to describe a cathedral. Feeling as if he can't explain it, the husband starts to get frustrated. It was a moment of realization; how can you explain something to someone who has never seen? To someone who does not have a clue what you mean? Robert asked the husband to sketch a picture of the cathedral. He wanted to place his hand over his, to feel the movement to try and see in his mind what it looked like. It was the silver lining. The narrator was beginning to un-see. He closed his eyes as well in order to understand what its like to have to come up with an image of something you've never seen. It was the moment of relating.

As I was reading this story, I couldn't help but notice these things. I felt as if God was shining a spotlight on my weaknesses of treating people with disabilities as if they are not normal. And I know it is not just me. Come on, now. No one can read this and say they've never judged someone with a disability. But as I was reading this story, I realized just how brilliant these people actually are. I question, who was actually blind in this story? Was it the narrator who couldn't see life as it actually was, or the man who had a physical blindness? It made me realize that our society is disabled. We are disabled in the way that we can't relate, and we don't try to relate to people who are different than us. We allow preconceived opinions of people to stop us from building relationships with others. Its not what makes us different, but rather, what makes us the same.

I'm leaving this story feeling challenged to recognize my own disabilities, and hoping I have the strength to be love to others despite them. Our blind society need to learn to un-see as well, so we might see things as they actually are.

Hills like White Elephants.

Dear Conflicted Girl,

He may not see it, but I do. He may not care, but I know you do. He may not be torn in his conscience, but I can hear it in your voice, you're torn. Torn between the love of your life, and torn between what that love created. You sit there trying to drink away the feeling; attempting to down your doubt like downing a glass of beer. Your boyfriend tries to persuade you. Persuade you in every way.  To try this new drink, to go to this place, to abort that baby inside of you. You want to make him happy. But will you be happy? To lose something that you've made a part of your life, or to lose something that is actually one with you.

Someone close to me was in the same situation once. The roles were a little reversed, per say. But in the end, the situation is still the same. I've seen how abortion changes lives. Killing "a hill of white elephants", something pure and innocent, leaves a permanent scar. At the time they thought they were doing the right thing to save their relationship, but in the end, it only wound up tearing them apart and losing their child. To this day it is a decision both of them regret deeply, and everyday it is a struggle for this man to forgive this girl. And everyday this girl struggles to forgive herself.

I'm not telling you what to do. But I am asking you to consider your life, your baby's life. You're afraid to lose a man who makes your decisions for you. This is your choice. Scars of people coming in and out of your life heal; scars of losing someone you love are always there, they just get buried with time. Keep believing in white elephants. Keep seeing things in your own way. Don't let someone taint what you see and what you want.

You're sitting beside two rail lines. Each going a different direction. You are there with the intent of going one way, but don't be afraid to consider the other. Make your life your own. Follow what you feel inside.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Friend

Great.

After reading the devotion, "None so Obscure", I felt left to ask myself a question: what legacy will my life be leaving? But the more I pondered this question, the more it brought other questions to mind, such as: what does it actually mean to be great? who am I living to impress? am I living my life for something of worth?

Several years ago at a Christian youth retreat, our speaker said something that has stuck with me. To be great is to be less. At the time, I never fully understood what that meant, but the older I get, the more I realize the truth in that statement. When you step back and think about it, the people we recognize as "great" are the people who served. People who thought of others as greater than themselves, people who give their lives to the service of helping others. They think of themselves less, and somehow, we view that as greatness. I believe we view it as such because of our model; Jesus Christ. Jesus was greatness is the flesh. But he was also the greatest servant we have ever seen. Our lives are beckoned to be modeled after His, and if that is true, should our lives not be less?

My desire is to be known as a woman of love, compassion, encouragement, laughter, faith, mercy, kindness, and joy. I'm a social work major for the sole reason of I love people. And I want to impact someone's life. To change it for the better. Not because I'm "great", but because of the One who is great inside of my heart. That is what gives life meaning. That is what leaves a mark on this world. People have been talking about Jesus for over 2,000 years...I think that is the coolest thing.